Hawks offer many returns

Cowbell silenced by the lambs, 9-3

COLUMBUS, OH - After a disappointing end to the 2007 Fall Session, the Arrowhawks looked to the past and the future to get a jump on the 2008 Winter Session. The Hawks were bolstered by the return of cagey veteran and longtime Arrowhawk Henri Foucher, nifty puck handler Oleg Chetverikov, as well as the beginning of Nick Elswick's second stint with the team as they rolled over the Will Ferrell inspired More Cowbell 9 - 3 Friday night.

After watching Rick Nash abuse the Coyote's D Thursday night, Oleg one upped Nash with a hat trick, high-lighted by a ridiculous display of hands on his first goal. During a goal mouth scramble he found the puck at his feet with the goalie down. Using his European flair, Oleg somehow dug the puck from in between his feet and roofed one right under the bar, all while calming puffing on a cigarette.

"Unbelievable! I ain't never heard of that before, much less seen it!" remarked Hawks D Nate Mensel.

Foucher was his usual self in his first Arrowhawk game in two months, combining intimidating size, deft touch around the net and dashing good looks to chip in a goal and a minor penalty for frightening a small More Cowbell forward.

Nick "Tron? Really? That's the best nickname you can come up with?" Elswick took a much longer road to his return. While Tron was a key contributer to the success of the Summer 2007 team, it was his problems off the ice and in the locker room that led to his exile.

"The guy was just way to nice to be an Arrowhawk," said newly coiffed Rick Titus. "It was the decision of management to send him to the Billy Miller Finishing School to turn him into a bigger jerk with the hopes that he would fit in a little better in the room."

The decision was obviously quite prescient, as Nick turned in a great performance. He was stellar on defense with great work to hold the offensive zone, as well as 3-4 great zingers on Hawk defenseman Mike Gauthier's play, or lack thereof.

"That's a pretty good way to get back in the fold," added Mark Monahan. "Anytime you go with a crack on Gooch's play or Torsok's weight, you're golden."

While Mark's words do tend to ring true, it was Gooch who had a goal and a +3 shift, which led to more discussion of Gooch's potential. "Normally Gooch has enough trouble finding the center ice face off after a goal, much less two in a row," chimed in Hawk goalie Jason Jensen. "And to see him score a goal in their net as opposed to mine was also a welcome change."

All in all, it was a great start for the Hawks, who will look to build on their success next week against Nick's Meat Type Place.

Other game notes:

While Oleg stole much of the thunder on the first line, both Bryce and Kevin Griffith were exceptional, always passing to each other, never yelling obscenities at each other, and Kevin definitely didn't change on a opposing breakaway when he was the last man back. We're pretty sure Bryan was there, too, but it's hard to say as no other Griffith was punched in the head.

The second line of Monahan, Morgan, and Torsok continued the get good shifts in the offensive zone, but only had one goal to show for it. In their defense, Morgan and Monahan were spotted in a local watering hole attempting to obtain umbrellas for their beers, but had to settle for cherries, lemons, limes, and a curly straws. No wonder they can't score, unless its with another dude, apparently.

Mac Lawless and his BVC were scratched. All in the locker room were happy.

Rumor has it Joe Factor is set to return from his horrific basement finishing injury next week. Whether he will still be able to tell his ass from the now finished hole in the ground is yet to be seen. Welcome back Joe!

Arrowhawk forward Jason Torsok will not miss any time after suffering what doctors have called three massive heart attacks, two strokes, a brain seizure, and a broken nail in his first action in four weeks. Right, like you expected him to exercise and not eat a ton over the holidays. Who's stupid now?

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